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Holidays: Oct. 29th - Nov. 4th

Patrick Lancer, Saturday October 28th, 2006

Here at Overdue Karma, we celebrate life everyday (no, really, we do!) but here are some excuses for you to cut loose and take a day off from work this week:

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October 29th:
The end of October is filled with many Halloween related holidays, including the ever-popular Frankenstein Day. Rumor has it that this holiday was spawned off of a commercial spot by the Franken-berry cereal. I, personally, am a fan of Boo-berries, but somehow I don’t think that “National Boo Day” is any better than Frankenstein Day…

October 30th:
This Monday night is every misguided teenager’s idea of community service. They go out and toss pumpkins in the street, figuring all the Grannies can go and collect the mush and make pie, right? But this year it won’t happen, because it’s a school night, right? I would not count on it. At least the toilet-paper companies make a profit. I want to see somebody TP a Charmins factory, which would be funny.

October 31st:
Well, it’s finally that time of year. Halloween has rolled around again. For pre-teens, it means dutifully collecting candy from the neighbors. For teenagers, it means maybe going to a party, if you are a fool, the smart kids go and take the neighborhoods en mass, longer legs and years of practice makes a 17 year-old many times more productive than a 7 year-old. For some adults, it’s an excuse to dress up all crazy-like and go get drunk all crazy-like, because beer and sex are like candy to adults. Others go out with their kids to collect candy. There is a hidden motive there, I bet. And lastly, there is the group of elders and social-rejects that stay home and hand out the goods. You make Halloween run like clockwork. I salute you!

November 1st:
This Wednesday is the First of November. “National Vegetation Day” occurs always the day after Halloween. So all those kids (and adults) that have, in effect pumped sugar into their bodies with an IV have a chance to vegetate, I guess. That is, if this holiday is not for vegetables or something.

November 2nd:
Thursday is yet another Halloween related day: “Deviled Egg Day”.

November 3rd:
Friday is Housewives Day. I just can’t resist:
Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman!
Why can’t women drive? I don’t see a rode between the laundry room and kitchen!
I’m sorry already; don’t send me hate-mail.

November 4th:
Alright you bibliophiles! Crack open your favorite book because it’s “Book Lover’s Day” this Saturday! Or, if you are in the vast majority of Americans that don’t have “time” to read anything more complex than the TV Guide, just go see the movie rendition of your favorite book. It might not be as satisfying at the end, but hey, at least it won’t take you a week to finish.