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A Biting College Essay

Special Guest, Sunday November 26th, 2006

The following was an actual college admissions essay sent to Georgia-Tech. The author tried to write an original piece that would seperate him from the other applicants.

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It started as a way of scaring freshmen. I gave them a wide-eyed look of terror, followed by a gradually rising, malicious grin. Then I pounced like a ferocious beast, snarling and snapping my fangs at their jugular veins. I'd usually end up hanging onto their necks or shoulders by my teeth for a few minutes as they tried to go about their daily lives. Now, this was generally not considered socially acceptable behavior. I set out to change that.

No one expected to be bitten. It was not normal, and that made it scary. "Why would a human do that?" one victim asked. In order to get the practice of biting accepted, I first had to get people used to it. I selected a varied set of test subjects to put on a schedule of one bite every day. This was met with some resistance.

One subject, a football player, started out calm. He would simply ask why I was biting him, and, when I mumbled an answer through a mouthful of scapula, he removed me with his superior strength as one removes a leech. He quickly learned to be wary of me whenever I approached. I had to start sneaking up behind him in order for him to get his daily dose of teeth in the neck. He has begrudgingly accepted having a tenderized shoulder as part of life. And, since it wasn't happening to them, everyone that witnessed or heard the spoken lore about my biting him became comfortable with the idea of a human randomly biting another human.

Some subjects just ran away screaming, so I was never able to bite them. I still wonder whether they did it in fun or if they were actually afraid. Either way, onlookers were entertained, so it became more and more acceptable.

The challenging part of this whole ordeal was the drastic change in the way people looked at me. Suddenly, I was not the person they expected me to be. They didn't know how to act towards me anymore, so they simply stopped talking to me. That was strange for me, but I strove onward in the name of mastication.

Biting is now common practice in my high school. I am not the only one who can be seen hanging off someone's shoulder, as will hopefully be shown in this year's yearbook. Biting has become a sign of friendship and affection.

Some people are even disappointed when I don't gnaw on their flesh. Nothing can be more satisfying than that.

Zach Tveraas is a senior in High School. He does creative writing independantly, for class, and evidentally, for college essays.