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Shakespeare: I Shall Make Your Wit Bankrupt!

Patrick Lancer, Thursday December 14th, 2006

For ages, lovers of the English language have been praising Mr. William Shakespeare for his ingenious use of pre-existing words and his creative construction of new expressions. He is credited with coining countless modern-day terms such as, well, “countless”, among many others. Some fans of the Bard may be familiar with Bernard Levin’s “You’re Quoting Shakespeare” bit from The Story of English. If not, you can read it here.


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I can appreciate all of that. I am using Shakespeare’s words to craft what I am saying right now. However, I really don’t think Shakespeare was as hot as everyone makes him out to be. To be educated is to have read Shakespeare. To be romantic is to quote Shakespeare. If you are clever, you can use his winding phrases to form a rebuttal against your enemies. But still, the guy was a plagiarizer and a loony. Follow my logic:


I don’t know how familiar everyone is with Plautus, but I imagine not very. He was a Roman playwright of the second and third centuries B.C. The guy tried to be comedic, and I am absolutely sure he was to ancient Roman audiences. At any rate, he wrote one particular play, “The Menaechmi”, which is regarded to be one of his greatest works. Have you heard of it? If you answered yes, congratulations, you are among the few who recognize original greatness. Most others, however, are more familiar with Shakespeare’s “The Comedy of Errors”. Both are extremely predictable plays. They involve two pairs of twins separated at birth who mix everyone up when they are unintentionally reunited. Kind of like some film Mary-Kate and Ashley did back in the day, only not so girly. The point: Plautus was the originator and Shakespeare was the copycat.


What is Shakespeare’s most famous work? Romeo and Juliet, you say? Guess what... it comes right from the tombs of Ovid's Metamorphoses. Among the many stories in the collection exists the tale of Pyramus and Thisbe, lovers Ovid described as “star-crossed”. Sound familiar? Romeo and Juliet lead lives surprisingly parallel to those of Pyramus and Thisbe. But wait! To add insult to injury, Shakespeare then mocked the myth in his play “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. What a jerk!


Ok, not enough for you to agree that Shakespeare is over-rated? How about this logic: Words convey meaning. The more concise, the better, correct? Shakespeare's chaotic blend of prose and poetry is the very twisting defenition of "beating around the bush" (another phrase from Shakespeare). Don’t get me wrong: I like themes, I like imagery, and I like symbolism. But the Bard takes it too far.


It would be bearable if he weren't hailed as the greatest English writer of all time by just about anyone of academic standing. High school students who laud him with such superlatives are laughable. They don't know what they are talking about and can be ignored. But college professors are preaching it all over the nation and all over the world: “Shakespeare is the greatest!” The greatest at what? Copying other people’s work or making normal ideas very confusing? I say he is over-rated. Not bad. Just over-rated...

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